The Key of Alignment: Self-Worth Association - David Mitts

Divine Alignment: Self Worth Association

Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." (Genesis 2:18 NASB)

Last week we spoke about the alignment variable of self-worth.  We spoke about how we were created to need affirmation of our value.  We see this in Yeshua’s ministry time that the Father affirmed Him in terms of His identity and value twice by declaring audibly:

This is my Beloved Son in whom I am well pleased. 

This is a declaration of value and it was essential to Yeshua’s ministry time on planet Earth because He was fully human and needed that designed food of affirmation of worth.

Because there is a void of self-worth in man, we all need it primarily from God!  But God also stated that there is an essential need to man to receive “goodness” from others.  Primarily this need is supposed to be met through covenant oneness in marriage.

What do I mean by receiving “good-ness”?

God made us with a “good” void.  Then the LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." (Genesis 2:18 NASB).
Good is the word “Tov” in Hebrew.  It is comprised of the word picture that essentially means that something is as it should be.  So when we say someone or something is “good”, we are saying that the subject of that statement is operating as it should.

Yeshua said that only Father is “good”. And Jesus said to him, "Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone. (Mark 10:18 NASB).
This means, to me that there is only One who operates as He should and that is God.  He alone is “good”.
And He who is “good” said that it was NOT-good or un-good for a man to be alone.  Anti-good-ness is isolation.  SO we are designed for relationship.  This means we cannot know ourselves in isolation.  As my Pastor PD Zink would teach, isolation is the breeding ground for deception. 

We are created needing others.  Needing them for what?  Well we are created to need them for good-ness.  What do I mean by that?  Well I mean that we cannot know the “good-ness” or the correct operation of our being in isolation.
We need association and our good-ness is derived from it.  We may think I can get my good-ness directly from God!  Well you can get part of it from God, but not ALL of it.  Otherwise God would never have created Eve.  Eve was the fly in the ointment.  She was necessary to heal the “un-goodness” in Adam, the being alone.  BUT she was also the source of deception.

The man said, "The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me from the tree, and I ate." (Genesis 3:12 NASB)
So relationships, association is key to healing our aloneness but also full of peril and danger. 
So we have to choose wisely.  Like gravity, association is an alignment which affects our destiny.  It is a law of the spirit.

Look with me at Proverbs 18:24:
A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24 NASB)

This scripture shows us both the positive possibility of association and the negative peril.  When I think of the statement, “too many friend  sends s s”, I immediately think of superficiality in relationships.  The contrast is with an intimate friend who sticks closer than a brother.  Remembering it is Solomon who is writing this whose life was threatened by “brothers” and who had true loyal friends, today we see a real shifting atmosphere in the “friends” department.

God designed us for association to impact our lives.  It is part of His goodness that has the potential to draw us unto our destiny.  We need other people to influence us.  We are made that way.

Charles tremendous Jones, the famous trainer and coach said: “You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.”
People are essential to our destiny.  We need wisdom in choosing wisely the relationships that are to be part of our future destiny.

We all know that but we also need to address our addiction to comfort in our relationships.  We tend to form friendships out shared interests and with those whom we feel comfortable with.  This is adding mass to our present situation. Look at Proverbs 27:5-6

Better is open rebuke than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but deceitful are the kisses of an enemy. (Proverbs 27:5-6 NASB)

Not too many are searching for friends that are wound bringers. In fact, based on the world of Facebook “likes” and other social media avenues, I would say that a huge agenda is to build agreement, not much rebuke, open or otherwise.
The other face of today’s “friendships” is isolation.  This is a dive into “ungoodness”.

He who separates himself seeks his own desire, He quarrels against all sound wisdom. (Proverbs 18:1 NASB).

The other ditch on the side of the road, to borrow the words of Craig Hill is isolation.
Rather than be challenged, rebuked and even wounded we retreat either into superficiality of social media or the isolation of our thoughts and counsel.
What I want to suggest is that this a condition of the end times and a challenge to the true Holy Spirit empowered life of oneness.  This is the time Yeshua prophesied about:

"At that time many will fall away and will betray one another and hate one another. "Many false prophets will arise and will mislead many. "Because lawlessness is increased, most people's love will grow cold. "But the one who endures to the end, he will be saved. "This gospel of the kingdom shall be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all the nations, and then the end will come. (Matthew 24:10-14 NASB)

The gospel of the kingdom is the good news of a kingdom of a loving accountable friendships.  We will find this increasingly difficult to find in the days ahead.  Offenses will abound and many will retreat into cyberspace relationships that are superficial and truly a form of relational junk food.  

Agreement and tolerance will become the currency of relationships.  We will be challenged by pain to retreat into the ozone of comfort where no one will dare challenge one another to be their best.  The glory of God will be traded for a false comfort of mediocre agreement.  True friends who challenge us will be rare and we will need to pursue through the feelings of discomfort to be challenged to stretch and grow.

Here are some ways to gain clarity before choosing a mentor, coach or leader to follow:

  1. What area of expertise does this person have that I want to learn about?
  2. What values does this person exhibit that are congruent with mine?
  3. What values does this individual exhibit that are out of alignment with my values?
  4. Do I have a need for this person to be perfect?
  5. Am I strong enough to learn from someone that may not have the same values as I do?
  6. Can I look through the proper filters to learn what I need to learn?
  7. What are my real objectives for working with or learning from this person?

It will take God’s grace to align yourself with the right people. Let’s ask God what we need to let go of to be coachable?


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